I need some yoga puns
- What did the yogi tell his restless student? Don’t just do something – Sit there!
- If you say “Pumpkin Spice Latte” in the mirror three times, a white girl in yoga pants will appear and tell you all her favorite things about fall.
- What did the yogi tell the vacuum salesman? Too many attachments.
- Where do fish go to do yoga? The river bend
- What kind of yoga do you do in a casket? Decom-pose.
- Your pants say yoga, but your ass says McDonalds.
- My Yoga Instructor Asked If I Could Reach Down And Touch My Toes. I Told Her It Was A Bit Of A Stretch.
- Do you wanna join me for a yoga class? Namaste here. (No I must stay here).
- I’ll bend over backwards to find you one.
- Using the toilet on the airplane means I’m certified to teach yoga now.
- You’ll need a flexible sense of humor to make a yoga pun.
- Yoganna be disappointed by this one..
- What did the cobra say to the downward facing dog? I’m not a poser you are.
- What did the yogi say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
- What did the yogi say to his dog? Nama, stay.
- What’s the most romantic kind of yoga position a man can do? Pro-pose
- Did you get those yoga pants on sale? Because at my house they are 100 percent off!.
- What does a dyslexic cow say? Oooommmm
- What was the woman angry after her yoga class? She was bent out of shape.
- What kind of animal does yoga? A Shangri-llama.
- What did the yogi say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything!
- What do yoga pants eat for dessert? Lululemon meringue pie.
- What did the yogi say when his student asked him what he wanted for his birthday? I wish no gifts, only presence
- How many Bikram teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to preheat the new bulb, one to screw it in and one to remind the light bulb changer to “Lockyourknees, Lockyourknees!”
- What do you call women doing yoga in see through Lululemon pants? Over-ex-posers
- What do you get when you combine Starbucks and a yoga class? I don’t know, but there’s probably a hipster close by.
- What was the woman angry after her yoga class? She was bent out of shape.
- What did the Yogi say to the criminal? You have the right to remain silent!
- I tried yoga, but found it a bit of a stretch. =Tim Vine
- What did the yogi say to his dog? Nama, stay!
- She looks bad in yoga pants. said no man ever.
- Q. Why did the yogi refuse anesthesia when having his wisdom teeth removed?
- Why didn’t the yogi vacuum in the corner? Because he has no attachments.
- What does a dyslexic cow say? Ommmmmmmmmm.
- My wife claims to be good at yoga, but I think she’s a poser.
- Why didn’t the yogi buy the vacuum cleaner? It came with too many attachments!
- How did the yoga teacher accidentally kill his pet? His karma ran over his dogma
- Q. What did the sign in the window of the yoga master searching for a new disciple say?
- I hope your into yoga cause your gonna get a good stretch tonight.
- What do you get when you combine Starbucks and a yoga class? I don’t know, but there’s probably a hipster close by.
- What did the yogi put on the sign outside his studio? Inquire Within.
- What kind of yoga do you do in a casket? Decom-pose
- My yoga pants have never been to yoga.
- Yoga pants with no ass, is like a wallet with no money.
- What’s the most romantic kind of yoga position a man can do? Pro-pose.
- What’s the hardest yoga pose to master? Corpse Pose. You only get it right once.
- What do you call women doing yoga in see through Lululemon pants? Over-ex-posers.
- Yoga is for posers.
- What do Yoga meditation and an apple peeler have in common? They both take you to the core.
- My karma ran over my dogma…..
- Did you see the romantic comedy with Meg Ryan as a yogini? It’s called “Yoga mail”.
