I need some yoga puns

  • What did the yogi tell his restless student? Don’t just do something – Sit there!
  • If you say “Pumpkin Spice Latte” in the mirror three times, a white girl in yoga pants will appear and tell you all her favorite things about fall.
  • What did the yogi tell the vacuum salesman? Too many attachments.
  • Where do fish go to do yoga? The river bend
  • What kind of yoga do you do in a casket? Decom-pose.
  • Your pants say yoga, but your ass says McDonalds.
  • My Yoga Instructor Asked If I Could Reach Down And Touch My Toes. I Told Her It Was A Bit Of A Stretch.
  • Do you wanna join me for a yoga class? Namaste here. (No I must stay here).
  • I’ll bend over backwards to find you one.
  • Using the toilet on the airplane means I’m certified to teach yoga now.
  • You’ll need a flexible sense of humor to make a yoga pun.
  • Yoganna be disappointed by this one..
  • What did the cobra say to the downward facing dog? I’m not a poser you are.
  • What did the yogi say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
  • What did the yogi say to his dog? Nama, stay.
  • What’s the most romantic kind of yoga position a man can do? Pro-pose
  • Did you get those yoga pants on sale? Because at my house they are 100 percent off!.
  • What does a dyslexic cow say? Oooommmm
  • What was the woman angry after her yoga class? She was bent out of shape.
  • What kind of animal does yoga? A Shangri-llama.
  • What did the yogi say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything!
  • What do yoga pants eat for dessert? Lululemon meringue pie.
  • What did the yogi say when his student asked him what he wanted for his birthday? I wish no gifts, only presence
  • How many Bikram teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to preheat the new bulb, one to screw it in and one to remind the light bulb changer to “Lockyourknees, Lockyourknees!”
  • What do you call women doing yoga in see through Lululemon pants? Over-ex-posers
  • What do you get when you combine Starbucks and a yoga class? I don’t know, but there’s probably a hipster close by.
  • What was the woman angry after her yoga class? She was bent out of shape.
  • What did the Yogi say to the criminal? You have the right to remain silent!
  • I tried yoga, but found it a bit of a stretch. =Tim Vine
  • What did the yogi say to his dog? Nama, stay!
  • She looks bad in yoga pants. said no man ever.
  • Q. Why did the yogi refuse anesthesia when having his wisdom teeth removed?
  • Why didn’t the yogi vacuum in the corner? Because he has no attachments.
  • What does a dyslexic cow say? Ommmmmmmmmm.
  • My wife claims to be good at yoga, but I think she’s a poser.
  • Why didn’t the yogi buy the vacuum cleaner? It came with too many attachments!
  • How did the yoga teacher accidentally kill his pet? His karma ran over his dogma
  • Q. What did the sign in the window of the yoga master searching for a new disciple say?
  • I hope your into yoga cause your gonna get a good stretch tonight.
  • What do you get when you combine Starbucks and a yoga class? I don’t know, but there’s probably a hipster close by.
  • What did the yogi put on the sign outside his studio? Inquire Within.
  • What kind of yoga do you do in a casket? Decom-pose
  • My yoga pants have never been to yoga.
  • Yoga pants with no ass, is like a wallet with no money.
  • What’s the most romantic kind of yoga position a man can do? Pro-pose.
  • What’s the hardest yoga pose to master? Corpse Pose. You only get it right once.
  • What do you call women doing yoga in see through Lululemon pants? Over-ex-posers.
  • Yoga is for posers.
  • What do Yoga meditation and an apple peeler have in common? They both take you to the core.
  • My karma ran over my dogma…..
  • Did you see the romantic comedy with Meg Ryan as a yogini? It’s called “Yoga mail”.