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Check out our complete list of Swedish jokes.
- Why do Swedes always drink their milk in the store? Because on the packet it says “oppnas har”.
- What do you get if you cross a swede and a gypsy? A car thief who can’t drive.
- What do Scandinavians eat with their burgers? Swede potato fries.
- Why couldn’t Jesus have been born in Sweden? It’s impossible to find three wise men there, let alone a virgin.
- Why are Swedish jokes getting sillier and sillier? Because the Swedes have started to make them up themselves.
- Why do swedes always go outside when there’s lightning? Because they think someone is taking pictures of them.
- Whats the difference between a smart Swede and a unicorn? Nothing, they’re both fictional characters
- What is a party game played by Swedes? One Swede goes into a box and the other Swede tries to guess which Swede is in it.
- How does every Swedish joke start? By looking over your shoulder.
- Why don’t Scandinavians need sugar? Because they already have artificial Swedeners.
- Why do Swedes always drink their milk in the store? Because on the box it says “oppnas har”.
- Why did the vampire like eating Scandinavians? He had a Swede tooth.
- What is the shortest book in the world called? Swedish geniuses.
- What did Elin Nordegren wish Tiger Woods before she hit him with a golf club? Swede dreams.
- What do you call a cat that can put together furniture from Ikea? An Assembly kit.
- What time was it when the monster ate the Prime Minister of Sweden? Eight P.M.
- A swede called the airline and asked how long it would take for a plane to get from Stockholm to Paris. “Just a moment,” the clerk said. “Oh, thank you,” the swede replied and hung up.
- A Swede was reading the phonebook, “Forsberg… Forsberg… Forsberg… It’s incredible how many phone numbers that guy has.”
- Why do the swedes cut holes in their umbrellas? Because they want to see when the rain ends.
- I asked my Swedish friend “Who are the dumbest Scandinavians? He said “Norway am I going to answer that question.”
- What’s the difference between Swedes and mosquitoes? Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
- What are beautiful women in Sweden called? Tourists.
- Why wasn’t Jesus born in Sweden? He couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin.
- Why do swedes bring sand paper with them when they travel in the desert? Because they need a map.
- What happens when a blonde moves from Sweden to Norway? The average IQ in both countries goes up.
- Where do desserts go on holiday? Scone-dinavia.
- What does SAAB stand for? Swedish Autos Always Breakdown.